I was sure that I did like someone and genuinely care. I kind of did but I tried to rush things for my own reasons. I needed to get a way to finally move away. I knew that both of us having BPD would be difficult but if I prepared for it, I could live with it. I hate being in relationships because I feel the extension of me. If anyone is my favourite person, I literally have a crap day when they do. I worry about that person constantly and I am always checking up on them. That tortures me. I try to take over their life and fix all the stuff which is wrecked in their life. I have to be in some form of relationship to do certain goals in life. One of those things was to move away. I found someone I saw as useful, so I went for it. Anyway, now it is over, and they’ll never know that I had a selfish agenda because they won’t talk to me after trying to fix their life.