This reverse dieting thing is a con! I feel too fat!

I have upped my calories but somehow my calves have got larger. Or I have got taller because my trousers all seem sorter (that isn’t a possibility at 34 years old). I could do with an extra few inches at only 5 ft 2/3 but after puberty it is impossible to gain height… if anything you start to shrink as you age. I can’t just cut my calorie consumption straight away. That will mess my body up and halt any chance of weight loss. I am just so fed up of conflicting advice. Personal trainer says increase calories to lose weight. The term calorie deficit is constantly flung around. I am sick of the whole process because it is stressful. I dislike my body more now than christmas when I had been losing weight consistently. The scale keeps going up and down between 79kg and 80kg. I am due on monthly next week so the water levels in my body are filling up. I have taken a laxative every night for a few days. I managed to go today. I just want to get rid of any build up that my hormone levels may cause. I can feel a heaviness which is either monthly or poop. I just want to get rid of it. I know that is too much info but I am fed up. I am uncomfortable.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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