I just think life is weird a lot.

I have woken up at a stupid hour so may as well post todays blog entry now. I have a face to face doctors appointment tomorrow morning (first one in over 2 years) to look at my little toe swelling to see if they will send me for an x ray. I kind of feel like I am wasting time now because I can still walk on it but it swells up and the joint is inflamed. I also feel like something moves in the middle of my foot before it does that. I have walked nearly 20,000 steps each day for the last two days (about 14 miles in total) and it is up now so the doctor will be able to clearly see the problem.

Now, on to today’s blog topic. I think life is so weird sometimes. I was walking back home today thinking random thoughts. Then A (code letter for person I used to know) pops into my head. Despite what happened, the order etc, I still feel them. I don’t know how to describe it. I don’t want to sound crazy by describing it. The only thing that it feels close to is a past life connection where your soul knows someone else’s from another life. I felt it from the first day that I met them. I do have dreams of them occasionally where they’re hiding in random buildings. The only time they weren’t was in the most recent one. I know that others think I am crazy especially judging how I acted in the past. Maybe I did know them from a previous life. That could have explained the intensity of how I felt around them and how it made me act. I am naturally intuitive. I just went with how I felt when I was younger not knowing that the skill of not following feelings was something important to learn. It wasn’t a crush. I had them before. This was different. They felt familiar on a soul level. I am sure that we were supposed to meet. It is like even after all this time they still haunt me. That is powerful considering we are permanently parted by the indefinite order. It is quite screwed up if we are connected by some kind of spiritual past life connection infinitely regardless of earthly circumstances.

Author: Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).

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