Lazy day. Switched off completely.

I have to be up tomorrow so totally decided to be lazy and spend most of the day in bed. I have things to do but I can do that while waiting for a phone call from 8 am in the morning. I am getting down about my weight. The scale is decreasing but the bloat (takes up the scale numbers after any kind of exercise)is hard to manage. I can’t be bothered to cook in this weather so yesterday I had one of those weight watchers ready meals. I don’t touch them on a regular basis due to the fact that I can smell the chemicals in them after they have been cooked for a whole day afterwards (its an autism thing). I have the worse hay fever which is filling my throat up so quickly it hurts a lot. I am taking stuff for that at night to be comfortable to sleep. These things cause bloating especially when calorie cutting. I am due my next antidepressant on Friday on the second lower dose. That is the plan for the next 6 weeks. Then it will be every 7 days same dose for 6 weeks. I will know which way it is going at that point. It will either be continue taking that dose every 2 weeks or the next dose down. It all depends on the mind zaps withdrawal effects. I was getting them last night which shouldn’t be happening after only 3 days. I really hate that withdrawal effect. That combined with my bad throat is not nice. The weather is so nice yet hay fever is completely ruining it for me.

The level of disrespect over the years is why I am this now.

Inflated sense of ego was thrown in my face. This is why I have that facade now. I have put up with endless disrespect for many years. I get ignored and treated differently when people discover I am autistic. I have to fight for basic needs in life like health care and the only reason I got the GP to listen recently was when my mother to rang up to have a word. In this system, people like me are seen as non people. I am willing to bet that the council will either ignore my letter regarding a section 117 aftercare discharge meeting or completely deny it. I am sick of the disrespect that I have been just expected to take for as long as I could remember. I am a person who deserves respect regardless of not being the norm. The only way to deal with the amount of rejection that comes with being autistic is to have an inflated ego. I like to refer to it as a thick skin which prevents me being further damaged by the way society and others treat me.