I hate the way so called friends talk to me. I deserve more than this!

I know that I am not the most attractive woman. That was made clear to me at school from bullies who said I had an alright body but it was a shame about the face. I was just told that I am a 4. I am going to become a 10. Once I get to that point then I will get anything I want by clicking my fingers because attractive people can do that. I have an inferiority complex about my face since finding out that I was suspected to have down syndrome as a baby hours after being born. I am prepared to have surgery on my face to make it look less like that and make me a 10. I deserve more than all this crap and I am going to get it. I am fed up of being put down and the various gaslighting. I swear that some of my so called friends enjoy seeing me mess up in relationships. They have a reason to put me down for my mistakes. Maybe it is time that I chose to cut a few people off? Yes, I am a disaster when it comes to relationships. I have the thinking of a child so I just do things impulsively which ruins things. I hate myself for being that way enough. I do not need put downs on top of that.