I woke up to a message saying that my personality was awful this morning. I had to survive the most awful things. That was always on my own. I never saw any of the friends saying my personality sucks around at those times. I have only ever loved people and had it thrown back in my face. I had that from an early age. That is damaging to a youngster who is still forming their sense of self. The fact that I had a head injury when I was a child and given too strong medication for epilepsy means my achievements were not easy. I fought my entire life to be able to do the things that I do. I find communicating exhausting. That is still not easy. I make mistakes when I get tired. This is something that I cannot help. I am not a mean person. I have no spitefulness in me. I am direct and say exactly what I think. I got used to being bullied so I developed a defence mechanism to retaliate. I got sick of being the one who gets walked all over and used. I would rather be alone than have people dropping by or only contacting me when they want something. If that makes me a horrible person then so be it. I am friendly but you’ll never get passed my outer shell. That is due to trauma that I experienced. I can at least say that I did all my mistakes with the best intentions (well the most recent ones). There wad no malice but I am stupid and naïve. That isn’t something that makes me an awful person. I was an awful person when younger and will be going to hell for all that.