Day: June 14, 2022

I have been trying to rationalise these things in my head but still question if I am going crazy. I simply cannot explain these things at all. There is no way that anyone with keys to my flat is doing these things. Why would they? They have no reason to do so. I came back last night to find my electric toothbrush having switched on by itself. That did frighten me because I thought that a wasp or something had got in there before opening the door. I had a can of flea spray go missing in a place which is always where I keep it. I got new ones and then found original can in that exact spot a week later. The chain from my sink has came off the base. The chain had literally disappeared a few weeks ago. I found it on the end of the plug today. That was definitely NOT there the other day. I don’t know what is going on but please stop. I own a haunted doll (according to the ebay seller) and was only saying the other day that it never seemed haunted because it hasn’t shown itself yet. Then these things started happening. I now have stopped drinking and have less antidepressants in me. I was warned that my gifts in that department would slowly return. I was expecting dreams not spirits messing with me.

I am at the part of the journey for quitting alcohol and coming off medication (antidepressants) which is quite hard. The adjustment that my body is going through is making existing quite tough. I don’t know whether the level of antidepressants going down in my body triggered my monthly to come on early. That is still continuing to batter me. I thought that the worst had passed but earlier it did the clot thing again. I should be nearly done with it by day 4. I was really swollen around my abdomen (posted a video earlier on socials) when it kicked off. I am hoping that it gets better after remains of iron tablets leave my body. They should be gone by the time I come on next month. I am expecting to feel rough and tearful coming off of antidepressants. That is a thing that happens. I am just going to have to roll with it. I keep getting that way but I can cope with the process. I won’t lie. It is feeling like a battle at times. I cannot recommend ditching medication. I would be irresponsible to say that. I have regular blog readers that are taking psychiatric medication who would be unable to function without them. I wouldn’t be coming off antipsychotics because that isn’t safe unless a person is in a secure environment where they can be monitored. Antidepressants are more manageable to deal with out of a secure setting. In this climate where seeing or speaking to a GP is a difficult process I am tapering off them myself hoping that it works. I don’t expect it to be easy. The task is going to be a challenge with ups and downs. I had to accept my reality and what my life always will be before I could even start to come off of them. The antidepressants only mask the sadness that I feel about aspects of my life. Taking medication isn’t a solution to any of that. I let all my experiences of discrimination and bullying win if I stay on medication for life. I also don’t want to be accused of pill shaming for having the view that I want to come off my medication. This is a personal decision and has nothing to do with my beliefs.