Today has been a completely stressful experience.

I accidentally fell asleep for most of the day. The washing machine decided to break early this morning. It started working briefly when I got up for breakfast but it is now refusing to spin on any programme. It has done this occasionally every so often. I normally manage to fix it but right now it is refusing. It doesn’t even error this time. It gets to 1 minute and is stuck so I have to boot down power. I split the clothes that were in there. It managed to work after hours of being turned off. It was still slightly broken as far as having to be shut off after getting stuck at 1 minute. I have noticed that it has been making electrical noises over the last few weeks but I never thought much of it. I will need to get someone in to look at it because it never got stuck like that previously. The problem probably has something to do with cat hair or even my hair. I have regularly found my hair knotted together with my washing after it has been done. I don’t particularly want to replace it because I don’t know how long I have left in this flat due to landlord wanting to sell. It is hard to take a washing machine with me especially if I end up moving back to mums (everything will have to go in storage).

In other daily news. I woke up bloated and monthly started early. That didn’t help with the washing machine breaking. I feel fat and completely crap. I bleached my roots (now the silvery grey strands starting to sprout can’t be seen). I got bleach down the front of my dress which isn’t too bad due to it being old. I went out for an evening walk to air dry hair after rinsing off the bleach and towel dried it.

I need to say a few things.

I have messages from vulnerable adults who are going through the same situations as I went through. I think that I need to say certain things after the same things keep being said to me. I just want to point out that there are many useless resources out there ran by people who don’t really do anything. This is particularly apparent in regard to the whole vulnerable adults having their children entered into child protection proceedings due to disability and placed down the forced adoption route. There is a genuine need for attitudes to change before vulnerable adults can be seen as normal enough to have children. Ten years after my son was taken by the system there hasn’t been much changes. That os why I hate toxic positivity because it can be as bad as negativity. We live in a construct that makes it difficult to function and achieve with disabilities such as Autism. I literally went everywhere to try to stop my son going for adoption. I found nothing helpful despite contacting the places that were supposed to help with those matters. Please do not string vulnerable adults along by giving them information which isn’t from a reliable source. They don’t need the hassle of being sent in pointless circles. It isn’t helpful and doesn’t sort out their issues.