I am not the same person as I used to be. I didn’t see it until I woke up this morning. I no longer want to talk to people who have turned their back on me or even have a favourite person. I no longer have the pull that I have fought for most of my life. I just don’t feel constantly stressed when it comes to others anymore. I am also very tired today so not really interested in much right now in general. I miss the old me but she is better off dead. Her life wasn’t easy due to those issues.
I had my moping around stage. I have now got up and pulled myself together. I am still awake because I was watching bbc iplayer until late. I am tired though because I walked approximately 22,500 steps (edge of Earl Shilton to the centre of Hinckley and back). I have sore feet (hard not to get when going that distance) but I needed a long walk. The weather was nice so it didn’t feel like a hard task. I will pop the gym at some point this weekend. I needed a bit of a break from weights. I must start going more but right now I am taking it slowly. I got to the point of burn out so I can’t just flick back into my old routine of twice a week. I recovered but not fully yet. The scale is going down now so that has no longer stalled. I had a bad stomach earlier and wasn’t able to ’go’ for two days. The walk and two laxatives sorted it. I am glad because I felt so uncomfortable. That is all I can say without it being too much information territory.