I just don’t get it.

I just don’t understand how others manage to fake their feelings or put on an act. I simply cannot do it. I never have been able to even mask as much as other autistic people. I just am my authentic self without any effort. How can others be so fake? I don’t get how they are so comfortable faking feelings etc. I was my authentic self in the friendship which ended at Christmas but the other person faked it all the way from the beginning. They obviously had no feelings for me otherwise they would have come back as a friend by now. I just don’t get how others can be so cold after being so friendly. How can someone pretend that they had feelings when they can so easily ditch you for trying to help. I have no malice in me. I was genuinely trying to fix things so that they could be happy again. I would give anything for things in my life to be fixed so that I could truly be happy but it isn’t that simple due to my son being adopted. I see why they were angry but to break off a friendship when they know my circumstances isn’t right. I wanted to help because I know what it is like to not have my own son in my life. I will never be the same person after having him ripped away for adoption. I will never be not broken. I don’t seem to get far being my authentic self but others are going places and having wonderful relationships faking it. That seems like people are rewarded for the wrong things.

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