Day: April 29, 2022

I started today by trying to add the link to where people could nominate the blog for the mental health blog of the year 2022. Their survey monkey link wouldn’t work. I will have to email organisers to sort it out. I haven’t been able to move much today due to my bruises. I desperately need to wash my hair because I put oil on my scalp due to skin being flaky. The ends are now full of grease and strands fall out when I put it in a braid to go bed. I have bruises on my arms where I fell so using them is quite painful because they feel heavy. I generally feel down today anyway. I am continuing to hover on the 80kg scale mark and I am fed up about it. I am working hard to lose the weight but all I am doing is maintaining it. I have been stuck at this weight since January. I wouldn’t mind if it was a stone lighter. That would be nearer my original size. Ideally I want to go down 3 more stone. 9 and a half (now I am 12 and a half). I know that emotionally what happened with my friend and the fact that they won’t talk to me again is really affecting this goal. I never faked my feelings which is why it has cut me up so badly. I literally haven’t been able to get out of bed during the day. I don’t want to be up but everywhere became a mess because of that.

The bruises that I got trying to stop myself falling over (unsuccessfully) Wednesday night are starting to come out. I feel stiff and it really hurts to move. I feel very swollen because I literally went straight down onto the concrete pavement after tripping over my lace which had came undone. The sheer force of the fall hurt despite having a thick coat on. That probably stopped me breaking anything. The bruises are getting in the way even before they came up my gym performance was affected. I didn’t feel that badly hurt until I used the weight machines. It probably feels worse with the bruises being new. I feel heavy and the parts of my body where I fell are heavy.