I can only do so much as a person.

I have many things I can no longer do due to trauma. That is going to make winning the mental health blogger of the year extremely difficult. I don’t really go to events or hang out in public for an extended period of time. Networking in person is a thing that is affected by what I have been through. I can’t even talk to people in passing due to how it all left my confidence. I am quiet and get on with whatever I am doing. I would have loved to be someone with millions of followers and kind of famous but I can’t do all the things necessary to get to that level. You literally have to be constantly going to things and be places meeting people. That is my version of a nightmare. The clue is in my blogs name – introvert. I have my life away from prying eyes which is important to me. I used to be cool with sharing until who I was got me treated badly. I don’t have an interesting life. I haven’t even been on holiday since I was a teenager. I have only ever been abroad once to Spain when I was about 12 / 13. Dad always wanted me to travel. I never even used the passport he renewed for us just before he passed away. I like to stay with the familiar life that I know and has been the same for years. I may be missing out but its safer not to take risks. The not having hopes and dreams thing means that I can never fail or face rejection again. That is what my head needs after the trauma that I went through.