I was feeling lazy but made myself go to the gym.

I didn’t even want to get up today. I didn’t sleep again last night. The eating more calories thing works. I was much stronger on the weight machines and added more reps to the current weights I can live. I know that I went for a long walk (burnt 700 ish calories) yesterday and this should logically be a ’rest day’ but I have things on tomorrow that I moved from today because I woke up extremely tired (that is good considering I fell asleep at 7am and woke up at midday). I can get the other stuff that needs doing at my flat tomorrow before I go out. That can be my rest day. I even don’t have to cook dinner because I am going to my mothers. I am on a cardio machine multitasking while typing this entry. I wasn’t going to post today but I kicked my lazy ass into action. I am kept awake by how my friend treated me. I cannot helping but I refuse to let her completely destroy my daily routine. I would be much better if she spoke to me but we all know that she won’t because she is too stuck on her decision not to speak to me. I see her point of view about what I decided to do but I am done apologising to someone who just won’t accept it. If she was a friend then she would give a shit about her actions affecting my mental health… after all she is well aware of the in’s and out’s of my autism / bpd etc. That is what those of us do via tiktok who have these conditions. She knows that things that she is currently doing can stop me functioning properly. I understand her stuff and that is why I haven’t pushed it as hard as my condition wants me to do. I am having to fight my brain which causes me issues too.

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