Friendly warning if the rumours are true.

I have been tipped off that my ex friend is saying horrendous things about me on her TikTok account. I have asked for proof. If I see proof (despite not wanting to see it really) I will be showing my negative bpd revenge side. The reasons why I got labelled when younger will be very much let out to play. I don’t want to do this but I can’t let them get away with talking about me to their followers either. They have their account private so not all their approved friends must be trustworthy otherwise they wouldn’t have told me. They will be downloading evidence and sending it to me because I told them if there is any shit happening behind my back I would appreciate seeing it myself. This is for my friends benefit as well as mine. It catches her out if she is being a bitch behind my back and provides no proof if she is innocent (my intuition is saying she isn’t though) of the accusations and people are trying to stir stuff.

Today nearly didn’t go to plan.

I finally got to the gym. I had no energy when I first woke up this morning so I thought that I weren’t even going to get stuff done at home. I had a long nap with the cats and felt ok when I woke up. I got a few things done at home, went for a walk to wake up properly and then went the gym this evening. I thought that I weren’t going to get to the gym due to people double parking in the flat car park. I don’t know why or how they thought that anyone would be unable to realise that no one could get out with two vans parked side by side at one end of the car park. I am convinced that supposed common sense isn’t actually that common. I was able to get out later after dinner as one of the vans was gone. It is getting annoying, hardly ever can I get a space at the moment. I have to park outside on the grass verge outside where I get bird poop all over my car.

I am absolutely fed up!

Rant time! You know that you all love it! Anyway, I just put my gym stuff on ready to go the gym later. The sports bra that I bought literally couldn’t fit until I squeezed my boobs into the the cup parts. I hear all those with small boobs call me ungrateful. I am not ungrateful, just been trying to reduce weight since August 2021 and that isn’t the way I have wanted to go. I also had trouble squeezing into my gym leggings which I originally got in August to start the gym. Ok it isn’t as bad as how tight they felt then but I dropped a stone from August to December / January. Then hardly anything. I was literally drinking high sugar content alcohol every single night during the period that the stone dropped off. I have got barely anywhere since I cut all that crap to once or twice a week. What the fuck? Does my body burn fat on excess sugar or something? I lost 3 pounds at Christmas when most people gain it. It makes no sense.

Things affect me.

I am still not sleeping due to my ex friends actions. I was determined not to let things affect me but it isn’t that easy. It has affected me and I wish that they understood that the silent treatment isn’t helping my issues. I understood them more than most people ever have in life. I can’t take back what I did and never did it maliciously. I am the most loyal person ever. The whole situation isn’t helping my weight loss progress. The stress from it is causing bloat as well as emotionally triggered eating. I want proper sleep again because this isn’t fair on me. They aren’t suffering but merely enjoying the power trip! Why should I suffer because they want to punish me? That is such a narcissist behaviour after I told them what I went through in life and how it all affects me.