Sleep is really awful at the moment.

I woke up in the middle of the night again. I then can’t get back to sleep which is annoying. I seriously need to work on sleeping longer and try not to wake up during the night (if that is possible). I was knocked out after my walking this week. I woke up from a really deep sleep at 2am which is worse tonight as the clocks go forward here in the uk. I think my mobile has automatically corrected itself. It is telling me that it is half 5 in the morning. I just had breakfast and taken medication. Mister is being a pain in the bum again. I just fed them and he is bored and waiting at the window for me to finish cereal so that I can let him out. I went to let him out but he didn’t want to go. The protein nut cluster cereal isn’t as bad as I had anticipated. I thought that is was going to taste awful. I do prefer the berries variety though.

In regard to my friend who fell out with me. We are at a stalemate here. I will not change my mind in regard to thinking that they are being unfair and totally immature. Is it really wise to cross swords with a person who is strong minded enough to walk approximately 64 miles in one week? That kind of endurance is evidence of a strong stubborn mind who will not let go of their point of view. In regard to how we think the similarities are enough to see that neither of us will back down. It is totally unfair for me to be punished (by the narcissistic silent treatment) for an action I took with the best of intentions however misguided it might have been. I know every narcissist trick in the book. I did all of it when I was younger to survive my life. I do not cower down and roll over for anyone! I will say what needs saying if someone needs to be told. I don’t suffer fools etc. If someone acts like an a**hole then I won’t hold back in telling them. This person needs someone like that in their life. I get the concept of childhood trauma but that is no excuse to act like a narcissist when you’re a fully grown adult (and swear continuously in anger). We have to mature and evolve whether our inner child was screwed up or not. It is time to stop acting like a teenager and act their actual biological age. In some respects, I am more mature than this other person and that is saying something when I am still childlike in a lot of respects. I don’t throw my dummy out the pram and refuse to speak to someone again if they do something I don’t like. This is what I mean when I talk about them being immature. I know that I could help them if they let me in. I understand stuff that many people don’t and my views aren’t typical. I am not even judging, I am just providing feedback on my observations. We all meet each other for a reason. I may be young but wise beyond my years. I act older than someone in their mid 30s. I certainly feel a lot older than I am at the moment. Our mental health system is not fit for purpose, we are all much better off helping each other. They can still be a narcissist but I can refine them so that people like their son will want at least some contact with them.

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