Why does life do this to me?

I feel that life has always constantly teased me. It shows me a sneak preview of something good that might come in time. Then it suddenly snatches it away. That isn’t fair and after many years it should change. I give all that I have to people and everything that I do. That just never makes a difference. I either burn out or mess it up. Either way things just fall apart and it is soul destroying in the long term. I don’t do autism traditionally or normal properly. I am somewhere in the middle so no one understands me. I feel like things get handed to me but cruelly snatched away as soon as I value them. It isn’t fair. I just wanted my own family and a lot of other things but never got to have it.