And, it is back to the gym tonight.

I had a week off of the gym due to seeing how I was on new medication. I did the weight machines, now I am on the cardio machines. I did food shop for the week while I was out so that is a major task done this week. I am on a machine while typing this but this is technically an active break. I am going to put more effort into my session after posting this entry. I woke up extremely grumpy today. The epic walking for most of last week caught up with me. I ended up zonked out for most of the day. It does you good but the tiredness hit me. I didn’t sleep last night much. I kept waking up several times. That irritates me when I am literally nearly falling asleep but then my body is like… nope just kidding! I have gone back to goats milk recently because it is a lot better for my IBS issues. I also don’t get such a runny nose, there is a lot of pus in cows milk that doesn’t suit everyone. It is more expensive but there isn’t a lot of difference between cows and goats milk now that prices have gone up. I also introduced myself to protein mixed berry cereal which was ok, but going to try moving myself onto the nuts version because I couldn’t get other one so easily at the supermarket I went to earlier. I am sure that one can’t be that bad… well I am hoping it isn’t anyway. I know that I am not allergic to nuts. I react to the most random things like cows milk. I was born with milk intolerance. It only seems to be cows milk, goats milk doesn’t affect my stomach so badly.

Sometimes you have to be a player.

I learnt in my younger days that those who chase and look clingy don’t get into relationships that they really want. I know who I really want but I refuse to beg them. I also know that they are a shit as a human so I shouldn’t really want them. If they weren’t a shit human then they wouldn’t have walked away despite my mistake. Also, if they hadn’t been such an awful person then their relative would want something to do with them. I don’t judge but I see it from both sides. I won’t take no bullshit. I will call out any shitty behaviour that others pull on me. I have had too many shitty things done to me by others in my life. I’m going to be the biggest player ever until I know that someone else is not selfish with me. Bread crumbs are never enough. I deserve true happiness rather than being surrounded by fakeness.