Nearly back to normal.

I am about back to normal now apart from the usual nail breakages from low iron levels. I went out for a walk without a coat which wasn’t the best idea. It is still not warm yet. That isn’t helped that these trousers don’t stay up properly and my favourite top is literally thinning and falling apart. One side has lost all its diamond studs nearly. I wear things to the point of falling to pieces. This is exactly why I am not asked to talk on camera because I look like a poor tramp. I don’t fit most of my wardrobe so I stick to what I am comfortable in with the excess weight I have gained. Buying more and the sizing psychologically affects me because I feel huge and these sizes make me feel more depressed about my weight gain. The measurements aren’t what they used to be in regard to standard sizes. I was never bothered by that until I got larger. I have D cup size (even bra sizes aren’t consistent nowadays) but if I am a size 14 in top it makes me extremely depressed. That also goes for the hip area too. I know that it isn’t big but for me it is… another example of me losing who I am. I have felt like I have had to give up parts of myself as I have grown up. I didn’t like it but I did it… only now I feel like I don’t look like me.

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