I act ok but inside I am still not sometimes.

I have kept myself busy. If I haven’t been busy I have been sleeping. Anyway, before my tired brain no longer strings a sentence together properly. I know that I deserve to not have my friend back because I make naturally stupid decisions when I trying to help. I try to tell myself that I don’t want to be friends with them due to them never giving me barely anything when I gave them all my efforts. I still stupidly miss them. I really want the friendship again. I actually got a dm on TikTok yesterday and was so disappointed when I checked and it wasn’t them. I miss what we had on there. I can’t change them. I can accept them though. I made my mistake purely due to being naïve, no malicious intent. I have literally never had a proper relationship because I never wanted one, so never learnt all that social boundaries stuff. I lack experience on what not to get involved in. I wanted to do something to help so that they were happy again like they used to be in their photos from years ago on social media. I didn’t think that it would lead to us falling out. I want to be friends again so badly but I am pretending to be whatever about it.

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