It’s been a tough few days. Medical appointments and telephone conversations.

I know that I have been quiet over the last few days on here. I don’t have my energy back completely, the flat is still a mess because I’m only doing bits at a time when my energy levels are up. I’ve been trying to sort my medical issues out by going for a blood test on Monday and having a conversation with the assessment consultant for counselling referral. The conclusion from the mental health consultant was that I wasn’t appropriate for their service. I was referred to another service which is mental health related. I am suspected BPD but I have been told that it is beneficial if I get officially diagnosed with the label due to the services not being open to me unless I am in the correct category. I am able to get Autism services but if that isn’t the main issue which affects me then those things will never be appropriate for me. I always say that I am BPD because that is where I feel that I fit more than Autism. I don’t really think that I am Autistic, well it is a very small aspect of me compared to the BPD side. I didn’t want the label. The last time that I was in an assessment I walked out due to the attitude of the forensic psychologist. I didn’t want the label then either.

I have also had some of my blood test results back today. I logged onto my online booking system where it has all the records etc. The iron levels, vitamin b12 and related blood counts has come back. The iron levels part is outside normal range. It is weird, one part is too high and the other looks two low by the readings. Then they have added a telephone appointment to discuss it on 24th March. The thyroid level part hasn’t come back yet. I was told that those tests take a week to come back at the most so it probably hasn’t been checked over by the GP to be added to the system yet. The other part has only just appeared on there today. I’m expecting the other half to appear on there in the next few days. I am going to try to go to the gym later. I am sure that I have gained weight but that is to not be a surprise after last week’s inability to get up and drinking too much alcohol. I feel like I have failed again. It is always like starting all over again after having a binge on alcohol etc. I keep getting really hungry which isn’t helping the weight loss in general.

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