Blood tests done.

I was awake in time to walk to my appointment. Blood tests are now done and on the way home. I got told that my veins are bad. They managed to get enough blood though. The council said that they will remove the glass as soon as possible. They were passing it on to the correct department. I have things to do when I get home and feel really not right so I might not be around much today and already planned an early night.

Detoxing from alcohol binge is messing with my head. / I can trust my mind on one thing though.

I have never experienced such awful mental effects when detoxing from an alcohol binge. I have had the kind of mind bending unpleasant dreams the past 72 hours. I woke up last night thinking that I heard a whisper in my ear. I have never experienced anything like this when I quit it before. I only quit 3 days ago so hopefully it will be less like it has been soon. In the long term I need to stick to it as I get worse after effects and my weight won’t go down significantly until I knock it on the head for good.

I know that I can trust my intuition in other areas though. The dream which I had about my ex friend yesterday definitely was accurate. She was really spiteful to me. I was going to talk to someone else and she was like ’all that about wanting to talk to sam’ … then went on to say ’you can talk to me now but that will be the last ever time’. There was other really mean stuff she said to me in that dream. Along the lines of ’if her son ever comes back and says I am the love of his life there would be serious trouble from her’, what the f? I had one brief exchange of a reply to a message that I sent trying to reunite them at christmas. I got fallen out with for that. I don’t remember all comments from the dream but there was many snide comments directed at me during the dream. She totally ruined my mental health. I have spent the last few months being so drained that I don’t want to leave my bed. There have been many days when I just haven’t got dressed. I have ruined my weight loss attempts by turning to alcohol because they emotionally destroyed me that much. I gave a shit when no one else did. I believed the whole story of being in an abusive relationship in the past. I no longer believe that. I think that they were the abuser. I was told as much by their son’s reply telling me that she was just a narcissist who used to emotionally abuse him throughout his life and physically was violent to him until he fought back as a teenager. Accused him of being possessed by demons too. I don’t judge people for their past but after how fast she cut me off after all I did for her … that shows me that she doesn’t give a shit about how she affects other people. I tried to help her because I thought that she was a victim, nope she was an extremely manipulative individual.