I made myself go the gym this evening.

I really had to make myself go the gym this evening after a few evenings of binge drinking alcohol. I am very bloated so I did pay for my chilling out sessions. I went dizzy while doing the weight machines so this is going to be a struggle. I am using a sitting down bike for a rest. I am still exercising but sitting down makes sure my dizziness doesn’t cause me to fall over. I had blurred vision but that is gone now so I must be going back to normal. I can’t let the cats out properly at the moment because there is broken glass outside my flat. I didn’t do it and it isn’t from my windows so why should I risk cutting myself picking it up? There is marks on my kitchen window from the neighbours spitting out the window. It isn’t aimed at me. That is just their habits. They already have a boarded up window on the front where it got bricked in an argument that they had after they first moved in. I don’t get involved but when it ends up on my property I will have to report the glass to the council. I don’t want trouble but the cats might jump onto that glass and hurt themselves. That on my window was disgusting but I let it slide because I was going to get a window cleaner to professionally do the windows which meant I didn’t have to touch it. I have found cigarette burns on my windowsill too at the back where both of us have our lounge. There is always going to be noise from flat neighbours but some things have been too much.

When will I feel normal again?

I woke up this morning feeling ok until I properly came out of my sleep state. Then I just felt really crappy. I look around at the mess which has built up while I have been extremely tired. I automatically feel overwhelmed by it. There is a point where I can’t leave it until tomorrow because that is a pattern where it never gets done. I also find outdoor shoes uncomfortable at the moment due to my toe being painful and swollen. That injury makes me not want to move much. I feel stuck in my own world not being able to mentally do tasks like cleaning etc. I only went the gym once this week. I wanted to go last night but my tiredness made me not even want to get dressed. I can’t let mess build up because it ends up feeling even harder to sort.

I have held back but now I want to voice my opinion.

I have tried not to comment on the situation unfolding in Ukraine. However, too much is building in the situation for me to sit it out on silence. Putin is out of control! Legally gagging the media so that he can act without any tip offs from others to those who are targeted. Firing at one nuclear power plant was bad enough. That could have been seen as a mistake but now planning to aim for a second one is showing the intention to purposefully hit a nuclear power plant. This is no longer about claiming former territories back. There will be no land to claim back due to nuclear fallout making it too full of radiation to inhabit. The whole operation needs to be halted before it causes wide scale destruction and more deaths. Grow up and put all nuclear weapons down, that includes the ones you’re firing shells towards! I don’t get worried about ww3 etc but powerful corrupt unstable people concern me. This is not some movie (film) covering ’war games’. People are dying and trying to flee places they see as their homes. This is reality not a political game. Someone needs to take out Putin before his orders verge closer to the release of nuclear weapons. He will not stop unless he is stopped. I am a loving human being who condemns the idea of killing anyone but there is no other way to stop him.