Restless night again :(

I didn’t sleep again after an extremely restless night. Mister keeps putting his paw on my shoulder while asleep on pillow next to me (don’t know why he doesn’t normally). I look a mess right now. I am sure that I have gained weight again. I don’t think it is all bloat. I keep feeling too hot which doesn’t help to get to sleep. I can’t sleep long even if I do manage to sleep because it looks a mess around my flat.

I think this world is a complete mess. I saw the unfolding conflict and invasion of Ukraine by Russia. I don’t know what to say. I can’t say anything to make it better for those involved. I can’t do anything personally but hope that it gets better for those caught in the attacks. It is a shame that power has such a toxic influence on those who abuse it. In places like Russia, those that speak against those in power ’disappear’. That would have happened to me many years ago if I had grown up there. I get called stupid for digging my heals in and refusing to back down in regard to things I believe in. Those in powerful positions rely on us giving up and backing down because then they can walk in and do whatever they want without resistance.

I am also done with selfish people. I have given so much many times just to get nothing back and in many cases ditched when I am no longer needed or when they got bored. I have NEVER faked anything or pretended to be someone I am not. It is just a huge shame that so many people pretend to be someone they are not and completely fake feelings. I don’t know how people don’t care about others in friendships/relationships. It makes no sense to me. How can you pretend to care? I literally can’t do it which either makes mean or authentic because I don’t fake things.