When I am constantly told that my health problems are an inconvenience.

I didn’t get up until really late due to not being able to stay awake. This meant that I was late for evening meal at mums and apparently I need to sort it out with the GP because it is becoming an inconvenience again. This is not a choice. I have been barely able to stay awake for the last 2 days. That has been an inconvenience for me too. I haven’t been able to go the gym and not seen daylight in days. The flat is a mess and that gets to me mentally. I have the worse itchy skin that I have had in a while. I am really uncomfortable only to be told that I am basically an inconvenience due to mum’s dinner being delayed. I am not a priority, dinner is more important than me! ugh!

No one talks about this…

I am sure that this is a common thing but no one seems to talk about it. The struggle of not wanting to go out the house after two days of basically barely doing anything and staying in bed. I know that I have to go out to get things I ran out of… but the resistance is extreme. I am comfy in bed. I am still tired which isn’t helping. I have a painful little toe on my left foot which also doesn’t feel nice to walk on. It clicked after my walk the other day. That has made it painful ever since. It isn’t much pain, more of an ache. I can walk but it gets uncomfortable after a while. I do need to go out for some fresh air and actual daylight after days of either going out after dark or not being out at all. I am just so reluctant to go outside. I was totally happy being inside for a few days.

I actually slept last night.

I woke up this morning to a newsfeed on social media full of people saying that they hadn’t managed to sleep due to storm franklin. I actually slept well last night. I was only in bed for a short time before I was knocked out until half 6 this morning. I didn’t have alcohol for the first time in days last night. I always sleep so much better when I don’t have it due to running out. I feel more relaxed and not constantly on edge. I just don’t want to stop drinking completely. I need to work on moderation. I am really not good with moderation in general. I like excess but that trait destroys my life. Anyway, I am off back to sleep for a bit. I have spent the last hour trying to sort cats out, have breakfast and took medication. Mister is stressed at the wind sounds outside (he didn’t bat an eyelid when storm eunice went through the other day) but finally chilled out falling asleep next to me. Mimi decided to poop in the litter tray but made a mess in the process which I had to clear up. I need a rest before properly getting up.