I’m not doing great today.

I just got up to do a few things but I am not dressed yet. The cat is having mad zoomies around the flat because he is bored. He has just learned how to open the bathroom door which is annoying. I have such bad skin today. Itchy and sensitive. I think that my scalp needs even washing in that therapeutic shampoo again. I also have scabby ears… that is a regular thing though. I do wash them and keep moisturiser on them but it just barely goes away. That is what annoys me about my skin issues. I am not a dirty person. I bathe every single day. I admit that I don’t religiously moisturise but I don’t completely neglect that either. Body brushing has helped but not completely solved the issues. I am also struggling with severe tiredness at the moment. I fell asleep after that freaky thing happened this morning despite also being able to sleep last night. I just seem to fall asleep for hours at a time because the wave of exhaustion hits me like a brick. Under normal circumstances after experiencing what happened earlier (see previous blog post), I would have got up … I was too worn out to do that. I have woken up tired too. It isn’t just physical tiredness, my emotions are also affected. I am literally too tired to care about anything. I just had enough of the stress which life brings. I have reached my switch where I just turn off. I have no more f*cks to give, no effort can be given with so little energy right now. I may be able to get it back fleetingly but not today. I do still miss my friend (probably never going to be a friend again) who isn’t talking to me but emotionally I am too drained to feel anything enough for their actions to hurt me anymore. I would love for them to message me again but too tired to show that I care right now. I am disconnected with myself at the moment.

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