I know everything. I knew there was something dodgy.

I had my intuition nagging me for a long time way before the friendship ended due to what I did. I just didn’t want to believe it at that point because things were making me feel happy. I hadn’t been happy for a long time so that was important to me. They couldn’t have walked away from the friendship if their feelings were real toward me. I feel like a complete fool. I opened up to them. I began to relax with them. I haven’t been able to relax in years. Then I find out that I was being discussed behind my back. I didn’t want that because the things I told them were private. They actually tripped themselves up when saying they weren’t neurodivergent. Borderline personality disorder (their supposed diagnosis) is a neurodivergent brain type. They lied so much about who they were as a person that it feels like I actually never knew them at all. Their address was most probably the only solid true fact that they gave me. The other so called facts seemed to always be a little manipulated. I haven’t been out my flat since I found out which is probably an indication of how much it has emotionally crippled me. I thought that I had finally found a friend that I was settled around… that turned out the person faked who they were. I thought that what I did ruined the friendship but it seems that they were stringing me along and would have found an excuse to ghost me when they got bored.

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