I am not experienced in relationships.

I don’t do love, valentines day or whatever. I am not a killjoy but I just have never been interested in being in a relationship. In that department I effectively a virgin. I had sex a few times but one was merely to get pregnant and the other was a stupid mistake when I was drunk. In both cases I wasn’t in a relationship. I wouldn’t know how and my inexperience would result in messing it up so I just don’t go there. I am so used to living as a single person so changing that life would be an alien experience to me. I do feel like I am missing out but I fear what I have never ventured into and my experiences with people has ruined my trust in anyone which has created a vast amount of anxiety. I always do something stupid to ruin things due to that anxiety. Then I don’t forgive myself for it. Then that is obviously another potential relationship down the pan.

3 thoughts on “I am not experienced in relationships.

  1. I’m slightly loath to unearth the “you just haven’t found the right person” cliché but it is true; I think a big part of that is that you set your sights too low. I know I argued with you when you talked about BPD but actually I think you’re right and it would explain a lot. Fortunately it is quite fixable, even after all the stuff you’ve been through; the tricky bit is finding out how.

    And the “I was drunk” thing: you know that wasn’t on you… and the law agrees. Not that I’m pushing you in that direction, just don’t take the blame for other people’s shit. I know you always have done but that doesn’t make it true.


      1. I’ll concede that you mess up! But the sort of people you let through your “arsehole filter” certainly make it easier to do just that…


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