Hope is starting to fade away now.

I went back to sleep because I woke up feeling like I had an exhausted brain. It is hard to describe but it feels like brain frazzle. That happens when I really push myself. I am fine when I have slept it off. I woke up to a direct message alert off TikTok popped up on phone notifications. I let it fill me with hope that my friend had decided to speak to me again. I opened it but it wasn’t them. It was just one of the accounts trying to promote their videos. I am now really gutted despite not believing they would speak to me again anyway. I let myself hope and now I am hurting again. I would love another chance which is the soul destroying part. I know how stubborn they are and the way they hold onto things that hurt them. They will never believe that I truly cared. They will always see me as untrustworthy.

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