Random dreams.

I had a lie in today because I woke up early after only 3 hours sleep. I woke up about midday the second time. I had some really random dreams during my second sleep. I know that they mean something. I will not be confirming my sexuality to the world regardless of my dreams highlighting my denial in waking life. I don’t see what the big deal is with society grouping everyone into categories. I always say that I am just Em. There is no other way I see myself. I don’t even see myself as autistic etc any longer. I am just me. I have a bit of a messed up brain but I am used to that so it is like normal to me. The friend that fell out with me recently was also in this dream. Maybe I do want to be with her but even when we were talking we agreed to be just friends due to both of us having issues from our pasts. I know for a fact that she also definitely won’t ever want to be with me now after I did what I did because I look untrustworthy. I don’t think it matters what I do to prove that I am not like that. I also can’t lumber someone else with my daily functioning issues caused by a messed up brain. I struggle a lot but I don’t want the person I settle with to end up a carer. That isn’t fair.

4 responses to “Random dreams.”

  1. I often enjoy dreaming. It’s a chance to go to places I never been. Experience things I probably never will in reality and some have spawned creativity.


      • That reminds me of a dream I had when I was a kid. There was an 80’s model Ford Ranger in the woods. I was doing something and all of a sudden something scared me so I ran into the truck and got down in the floorboard.

        This frog about the size of a cat came and hopped on the hood and was looking in the truck. It put its 2 front feet on the windshield and they looked like suction cups on a squid or octopus. It didn’t do anything though. It eventually left.

        Dream over. 🤷‍♂️😂


  2. I just read your About page. We have a lot in common in some things. School was torture for me. I was absolutely different. I fit in nowhere. It was impossible for me to make friends. It was a very long, painful process through 12 years.

    I still struggle with making connections with people. I feel socially awkward and I still feel as weird and abstract as ever.


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