Day: February 3, 2022

I had a lie in today because I woke up early after only 3 hours sleep. I woke up about midday the second time. I had some really random dreams during my second sleep. I know that they mean something. I will not be confirming my sexuality to the world regardless of my dreams highlighting my denial in waking life. I don’t see what the big deal is with society grouping everyone into categories. I always say that I am just Em. There is no other way I see myself. I don’t even see myself as autistic etc any longer. I am just me. I have a bit of a messed up brain but I am used to that so it is like normal to me. The friend that fell out with me recently was also in this dream. Maybe I do want to be with her but even when we were talking we agreed to be just friends due to both of us having issues from our pasts. I know for a fact that she also definitely won’t ever want to be with me now after I did what I did because I look untrustworthy. I don’t think it matters what I do to prove that I am not like that. I also can’t lumber someone else with my daily functioning issues caused by a messed up brain. I struggle a lot but I don’t want the person I settle with to end up a carer. That isn’t fair.