Awake at a stupid hour again. Deep thoughts time.

I slept a lot of the day so it isn’t surprising. I have a headache again but that is probably painkiller withdrawal. I stopped taking them because I can feel my body needs a detox. The problem is that it gives you kick back headaches because your body is so used to having a certain chemical every day. I am watching the new series of After Life on Netflix while typing this entry. I can split the screen on my iphone. I probably shouldn’t be looking at a screen but planning a long sleep soon which will hopefully get rid of the headache.

I randomly had a dream of the friend who currently won’t speak to me and probably never will again. That is the first and only time I have ever had them in my dreams. I met them like I originally planned to do. They had darker grey hair than it looks online. They were smiling and friendly toward me. That is never going to happen now. I am also highly doubtful that they would ever be warm toward me in reality now. I ruined anything potentially good between us. We won’t even talk again let alone meet. I am lost and alone in life. That is how it is meant to be because I sabotage everything good.