I want to smash stuff in frustration.

I can’t sleep and it is starting to make me extremely frustrated. I want to smash things because I am so fed up with not sleeping at night. I just saw 555 on phone clock. I hate that number it is unlucky. I don’t want any more bad luck. I went out to get fresh air at a stupid hour but didn’t go far as there was a lot of ice on the pavements. I had to walk slowly to avoid slipping over. I still can’t drop off to sleep. I did have a drink again which probably doesn’t help. I probably feel like smashing things due to alcohol influence too. I will never lose weight if I am this up and down emotionally. The inability to sleep at night is making me spiral in other areas. I have no proper pattern. I don’t know where I am at from one day to the next. I need stability in my life but it isn’t an aspect of my life right now. Functioning is a nightmare. I feel lost and completely losing my mind.

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