I don’t deserve another chance.

I have been thinking a lot. Although I am upset at the moment I can objectively see that I was an awful friend. I don’t deserve another chance. I showed my true colours. Underneath I look scheming, two faced and a fake friend. I don’t know how to be a friend so I am a shit friend. I don’t deserve my friends forgiveness. I deserve to be suffering and hurt over losing them. It was all my fault and now I feel alone because I pushed them away with my stupid actions.