I always sabotage friendships etc when I perceive rejection even if it isn’t actually the other person rejecting me. During the Christmas period when my friend distanced themselves … they decided to spend those few days offline. I knew it wasn’t personal but I still took it personal. That is why I did what I did. I was subconsciously sabotaging everything. I do with most connections that I make because my anxiety gets quite high. I have never had a proper relationship so venturing into anything new or unknown makes me mess up somehow.