Double numbers and everything seems weird at the moment.

I have seen 2222 for the last week or more when I have randomly looked at my mobiles screen. I know what this means. This always happens when I lose someone for good. That is why I don’t want to see the repeated numbers. They never mean anything good. I don’t care if the other person isn’t trying to hurt me … it is hurting (the decision to cut contract). I mentally feel so disconnected right now. Nothing feels real. It is like being in a haze. The tiredness from lack of sleep probably isn’t helping that. I hate how things are at the moment. I constantly hate myself for the mistakes that I have made in regard to the decision that lost me my friend.