I decided that I wasn’t going to do the outside world today. I woke up for breakfast (have to eat with medication). I had to feed the cats while I was up otherwise I wouldn’t have got any peace. I woke up after being woken up by my mum ringing my phone. I got up for my main meal and to feed the cats again. I did all the cats litter trays so now they have clean stuff to do their business on. I just read that a UK size 12 is now a 28 inch waist. When did this happen? I swear that it used to be about 32 inches. The sizing in this country doesn’t help women not feel insecure about their weight. The attitude in the clothing design industry is probably fuelling eating disorders. I know that it makes me feel fat even when I was smaller and had curves covered in less fat deposits. I am built petite so always seem to not fit properly. Since I lost weight, size 14 is hangy and 12 is slightly tight. I would rather things be on the tighter side so that as I lose more weight, I can keep my clothes for longer. I am trying to build muscle in my arms, it is supposed to give you a smaller waist. It works. It has taken my waist measurement down by half an inch after just a fortnight of starting to strengthen my upper body. I got weights at home so I can do it every day if I want.
I am also keeping my energy back so sleeping helps to switch it all off. I do really miss the person I am forcibly moving myself on from due to how it brightened my life when we were speaking. Even then I kept getting signs in songs… lyrics like run away and my intuition was telling me something was off about them. It’s a case of really still caring but knowing that I cannot go there again. The person refuses to unblock me. If I meant anything to them as a friend then they would have come back. Mental illness is still an illness and we both have mental health conditions plus my autism. That could cause major issues. Behavioural problems do have causes, not physical but it is still an illness. I had Epilepsy as a child. We do not know enough about brains to discount anything. I am keeping my distance because I know that mental illness is real. I don’t want to get hurt. I already got hurt when they got angry and cut me off.