I just saw TikTok and a video came up which showed the other person talking about what I had done. I thought that I was becoming a friend not a stranger. I cannot apologise enough and that means nothing because there is nothing that I can do to take back what I did. The fact that I did catch feelings for them, even though I really didn’t want to do so after things that happened in my own life. I hate myself for interfering. I didn’t think it through and I made it quite clear that no one had sent me to have words. I saw that they were sad over Christmas and just wanted to bring them potential happiness. I knew what meant most to them in the world so that is why I approached her son. I didn’t have to tell them that I had done it but I am honest. I’m too honest and upfront which screws me in life often.
I shouldn’t have been able to see that video reply to someone but somehow whatever made it appear on my fyp. If someone has blocked an account then that shouldn’t happen especially if they are sharing with friends only. I most likely saw it for a reason. I am still young and stupid. I didn’t make the decision in arrogance. I made it with pure intentions. I was naïve to think that I could fix someone else’s life. I can’t even fix my own. I messed things up with my own son and may never see him since he was adopted. I can’t take back any of my actions which led to what happens. It hurts like hell regardless whether your own actions caused it. Now I know that they never cared at all. I meant nothing to them. Hurting another person isn’t going to fix things. That video hurt me a lot. I thought the world of the person who has just acted like I was nothing. I gave them so much of my time and even sent them something. I am someone who understands mental illnesses. That is why I tried to do what I did. I knew that they were most likely going to be angry which is why I told them what I had done. If you over step someones boundaries then it is better that they hear it from you. If they hear it from a third party months down the line they are going to end up off the scale angry. I am a good person whether others can see it or not. I gave the friendship a lot of effort because I genuinely cared. I didn’t mean to catch feelings and didn’t want to do that. I did nothing for personal gain or to make myself some kind of saint. I don’t think I am all that. I thought that I had connected with someone that actually cared. Now it seems that they faked all those things. I know they’re angry but the cruel things that came out of their mouth about me has now made me extremely angry and upset! I invested time, feelings and energy into a friendship that the other side was faking. I opened up to them; that is extremely on a personal level to me! That is a big deal to me! I don’t just open up to anyone anymore due to my past. I only do so when I think I am settling with a trusted person. I feel like I have well and truly been humiliated. I understand mental health but will only put up with certain comments said about me and telling everyone I am some random stranger who doesn’t really know them. That says I was never anything to them. I may have messed up but the other person is still trying to play the victim like I was told they do when I had the communication with their son.
Start treating people with a little more appreciation and give a shit because very few people will emotionally put up with being talked about behind their backs like that. I know the other person is damaged. I am too, but when someone tries to help (regardless of how stupid the idea actually was in reality) don’t flip on them, cut them off and spew anger on your TikTok. There are people that followed both of our accounts who will most likely fan the flames of anger just for entertainment.