I don’t get it. I have been punished and suffered enough.

Happy new year before I forget. Anyway, now that is over I shall say what is in my head. How can a person completely flip reverse on me and still not be talking to me after a week if they ever remotely liked me as a friend? I did the wrong thing but not maliciously. I have punished myself for days, had the silent treatment for a week. I have suffered enough. Maybe they were just looking for an excuse to ditch me? I maybe autistic but I felt like we had connected. The last two months we were talking and interacting on TikTok was the best months of 2021 for me. I don’t want to lose that on a permanent basis. I understand that I overstepped the boundaries and I would never do something that stupid or intrusive again. I just want another chance. I want them in 2022 as a friend. I see their not so pleasant parts of their whole persona and that isn’t a problem for me. I am the one person that I can guarantee will truly care and give someone love. I am not fake. I am as real as possible. I did develop feelings… maybe not full on love but I still cared enough for the silent treatment not to hurt me. I don’t understand how someone can go from warm to cold so quickly. I totally get the BPD splitting thing but its hurting me and that effects my mental health which isn’t fair. How is it fair to punish me any longer for trying to do something to help which may have been misjudged on my part for this long? I didn’t know that not doing something like that was such a big deal. I was attempting to try to bring them happiness because I knew they were finding Christmas hard. I was being a friend even though I was stupid. Walking away telling me never to make contact again after I admitted what I had done is not being a friend to me; especially when they said that they weren’t ever going to ditch me as a friend.

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