New me in progress.

I have one of my current favourite songs on repeat while laying in a bath planning on becoming a new me (best thing to do when you’re hurting over another). I am quitting the alcohol at new year. I am planning to bleach my hair to put on neon pink temporary colour. It isn’t going to show up on my natural hair colour. It says do a patch test which I probably should do because my skin has been a little up and down the last few days. I don’t normally but I am sure that it is getting more sensitive. I had a rash on my face during my walk the other day. I don’t know what I walked through but my skin wasn’t happy.

I don’t see things the way others do so I am going to become an uncaring bitch. It works better for me and hurts less in the long term. I will always be defective and others will never give me another chance so every thing is temporary so I am going to act like I do not give a shit. It doesn’t hurt now. Neurotypicals are telling me that in their eyes it is breaking their trust like that makes me a permanent bitch not worth forgiveness. I may as well become that hard bitch who doesn’t deserve happiness due to my autism always making me chose the wrong options.

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