I caught up with sleep but I am still extremely tired. I went out for the evening because I don’t want to be on my own. I didn’t have to cook so had more energy to do some housework. I have been better. I was not properly healed from things that had happened in my own life before being knocked down by what happened with my friend over Christmas. I still feel guilty and hate myself. Things will probably feel less raw for everyone once the new year arrives. This is the worse time of year for those of us that have mental health issues. I hope that I get forgiven in time but my intuition is telling me that isn’t going to happen. I just have to distract myself from how everything has made me feel and the reality of being nothing in reality to someone I truly cared about.