And, my bubble is burst again.

I accidentally found out the history of my new friend. I knew something was off but just didn’t know what my intuition was sensing. I cannot judge because I have been manipulative and quite awful in my past. But, sometimes, my intuition tells me I am being manipulated and that they don’t really care about me as a friend. I also have the part of me that understands all the mental illnesses etc. I thought this friendship has potential but the stuff I now know has put so much doubt into my head. None of us are completely innocent. I know that I am not. I have done some awful things in my life. I’m torn after my previous experiences. I don’t mind people who have genuine mental illnesses but not intentional narcissists because they are the types who viciously turn on me and all hell ends up breaking loose. I can’t write off a relationship due to someones past. I wouldn’t like it if they did that to me if someone disclosed not so flattering things about me. There are many unflattering things about my past which I wouldn’t want people in the present to find out. I just want to meet decent people rather than a string of untrustworthy idiots which has happened several times. I don’t want to waste my time building friendships that aren’t real due to the other person faking it.

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