I been awake too long today!

I woke up at 6am and couldn’t get back to sleep so I played on the games on my phone for a few hours, then it was 10am before I knew it and I had to get up for a parcel so I got up. I popped out for barely 2 hours yesterday… a relatives christmas present for me was delivered to a neighbour in the flats across from mine. I hate going to retrieve parcels from my neighbours. I have nothing against them but my anxiety kicks off so badly! I also went through the car wash yesterday which also frightens me. I had to get it done properly due to how much dust and muck (also bird crap) was on it. I was petrified but I didn’t freak out. There is nothing that I can do once I am in there… no control so there is no point freaking out. I was extremely tired after all that last night. I get exhausted easily doing socialising anyway let alone facing multiple fears on the same day. I feel kind of on my own today.

I haven’t spoken to anyone much and my new bestie had the covid booster yesterday which gave her a massive headache and a swollen arm so she went to sleep it off. I got a full blown flu / cold thing after mine. I think the cold bug was going around at that point as everyone seemed to have it… I ended up going from booster side effects to having the thing doing the rounds. I am keeping myself busy today. I went the gym and tidied / cleaned bits of my flat before going out. I spend a while on that TikTok for a bit but its distracting so I limit myself which means I get other things done. I would love to become an influencer but no one wants to follow me in that way. I don’t have the look. I am not someone who stands out and I am not great at making money. I hate going on camera due to how I look as I am getting older. I was upstaged by one of my cats this week who has managed to get over 2700 views via the for you page … we never normally get that many views. I have previously reached the 500 / 600s but never into the thousands.

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