Christmas isn’t fun or happy for everyone.

I kind of fell asleep for the whole day. I did make up for my laziness by going for a long walk after I finally got up. I didn’t see daylight again. I will probably have messed my sleep pattern up though only a day after fixing it. I have to get up tomorrow because I do need bits from the supermarket. I can go the gym on the way around my plans tomorrow.

I do get tired this time of year so hopefully come January my energy returns a little. Christmas just reminds me of everything that I can’t have. That used to upset me but now it just emotionally wears me out and all I want to do is sleep.

I slept most of the night for a change.

I was worn out after my walk yesterday. I had a bath and got ready for bed by half 6. I had got into bed and fallen asleep by 7pm. I briefly woke up for something to eat but fell back to sleep quite quickly. I should try to go the gym today before the potential circuit breaker cancels everything. I think I am well enough to go back now. I have to get a few bits from the supermarket next door so while I am there I can spend an hour next door. I am in two minds whether to weigh myself while I am there. I last did it a week ago. I really want to see my progress but also if I haven’t done as well as I thought it will be so disappointing. I haven’t been the gym a lot this last week because of illness. I went on two long walks and I can feel my stomach getting smaller. That has only started to happen since I started eating more calories per day. That explains why I always had fatty areas when I was a few stone lighter. Apparently, if you don’t eat much, your body holds onto fat. The same happens if you eat too much. The reason for gaining weight can differ between individuals.

There is a lot of trial and error to work out what is specifically causing weight issues. I have noticed that my legs feel skinnier and so did my thighs but they thickened up a bit again. I have noticed my shape changing more since I have made an effort to include more protein in my diet. That helps muscles tone up. I won’t do the whole protein shake/bars things because the taste of those things aren’t pleasant. I have quorn vegan/vegetarian chicken / ham style slices in the 50/50 vitamins boost bread. I refuse to eat things that I don’t like that are supposedly healthy. I can’t see the point in that. I stick to what I like and know.