I’m having a difficult time.

I am totally unable to sleep at night whatsoever now because I have been sleeping during the day. I have relied on alcohol to get me through my studies too much this week which I have been doing at night. I am extremely stressed and annoyed at myself. I haven’t slept at all and it is nearly 9am. I have a phone appointment for medication review with my GP today. I don’t like phone calls, they make me anxious. We can’t get face to face appointments with the doctors still. That is anywhere between 1 and 6, they can’t even give me a precise time which doesn’t help my autism issues. I have been anxious about it all week. That makes insomnia worse. I really don’t want to do it. I can’t nor do it though. I can’t cancel it because it will look uncooperative. I can’t fall asleep and miss it as that will look like I don’t care. I have no preferred, non stressful option. The way the system is being operated (all via telephone conversations) due to covid is making my autism harder to live with … the accommodations are just not there. They induce my anxiety and constantly leave me on edge.

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