Worn out after yesterday.

I could barely stay awake today after constantly being out yesterday. I was going to do the other half of my gym session today before going to a relatives for dinner. That never happened. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open after doing even the tiniest of things. It didn’t help that I had a few drinks when l got home which gave me insomnia until nearly 7 am this morning. I drank the night before too so I have to quit for a while now before I become nocturnal. I had to go home to pee on my walk. I keep getting an extremely runny nose which is absolutely driving me crazy. I can’t keep my bag on my shoulder because it keeps slipping off. Today just seems like an uphill struggle. I also think that I have just walked the wrong way due to all the distractions created by my nose and bag. I am sure that I will come out on the main road at some point. I can now see a place I recognise. I even can’t get lost in a village.

Worrying things that I can relate to.

I don’t normally post this many times a day but I keep forgetting to mention this due to having a lot on my mind right now. Someone posted a simulation of being inside the head of someone with schizophrenia. I have a diagnosis of a form of autism and suspected borderline personality disorder. I have never considered any other conditions previously. I haven’t had the experience of the simulation many times in my life but I did briefly start seeing floating faces in front of my face and hearing voices a few times a few years ago. It was an horrendous year (2018) when my benefits got switched so they ended up going so far down that I had barely anything to live on. I fostered a cat for a charity for a while who was traumatised themselves due to their background. I only just managed to get her adopted to someone else before ending up in prison. Obviously, it was stressful also trying to dodge police visits and avoid court dates. I wasn’t able to rest because I was worried that I would be arrested for breaking the restraining order. There was a few people around locally that were also making my life stressful at that time. That is when I experienced that kind of thing but it hasn’t happened that severely since.