I just don’t think I can now. I think my feelings were not what I thought.

I was so sure that I liked someone in that way but I don’t think that I do. I am extremely tired after today. I never went back to the gym today after all the things that I have had to do due to sorting stuff out. I did all the weight machines so I got an hour done.

Anyway, I don’t want to mess someone around. I honestly thought that I liked them but I am already losing interest. I looked at them differently when they were new in my life. Then I completely felt nothing for them when I looked at them online via their videos today. The novelty has already worn off. I just don’t have love there for them anymore. I can’t love who they are but I don’t want to admit that because I’ve been so loving toward them recently. I was so anxious about a potential friendship but now I have just blown cold. They made me smile and everything but this is no longer the case. I have gone indifferent in the situation. I am thinking awful things about them. For example: they look like they smell bad. I know it is terrible but this is my brain when it flips around. I don’t want to be mean but this is just me at the moment. Maybe I am just going into an emotional dip and it isn’t them. They probably won’t read this so I can be open here. If they do… well I won’t be popular. Basically things don’t work for me anyway when it comes to relationships so killing it off at the start will avoid all that hurt.

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