I was awake most of the night so that may be why I was basically like screw it I am tired today. The only time that my insomnia disappeared was when I had flu for a fortnight. This is my normal and I hate it! I just feel frustrated due to the fact that I thought after many years I had finally fixed it. Apparently, the BPD part of me is still at the uncontrolled stage according to people who are older than me. I still have my intense streak (my zodiac sign is Scorpio, sorry I am not all as mellow as the rest and am confusing due to being born on the cusp of libra) and I am still excitable easily. I think that it is an age thing mainly though. There there are people that say I have a lot of potential to do many things. I don’t agree but at only 5 ft 2, I have taken on people twice my size and quite large scale issues before I have even built my understanding around them. That is more stupidity than any sign of intelligence. I am used to being the most inexperienced in anything that I have gone into so I jump fully into stuff to give the illusion that I am confident about what I am doing. In time maybe I will be one of those that change the system but that is a huge responsibility to place on anyones head coming up from whatever degrees they are studying. We need more collective thinking and agreement. That isn’t happening enough to bring that system change yet. I may not even finish my degree due to my learning disabilities and everything else making me struggle at just level 2 module. Please don’t put the pressure on me to graduate because in reality it may not happen.