Grief is disabling.

I go through most days thinking that I am over grieving in relation to my sons adoption. Then it hits me that it never truly goes away. It merely becomes more numbed so that most days you don’t feel it. I feel it so strongly today though. It may be the time of the year due to being so near to Christmas which is full of families being together. I can’t be with the family that I created because he was taken away and given to another family who gets to spend the Christmases that I was meant to have with him. I have not been able to get out of bed and actually get dressed today. I haven’t done half the things I was supposed to get done lately. I managed to get the cat to eat and top up my energy account so both those issues worked themselves out. I can’t not do the stuff I have put off this week because the floors desperately need mopping, the dirt is building up on sides, along with dust. The cats need their litter trays cleaning out. I need to move the car as its parked on the grass area due to our car park being full the other night. I just can’t function enough due to the feelings of grief and depression invisibly chaining me to my bed. Its going to be dark soon and seeing no daylight will have not helped.