I don’t even want to be awake today…

I slept ok last night (well, as good as it gets for me). I slept a lot today too and felt too comfy to get up when I woke up. I woke up with Mimi asleep under in my arm (she always puts herself there when I am too asleep to notice). She will never sit in my arms and fall asleep with me. Mister was on the pillow next to me when I woke up. The thought of getting up is too much today! I have stuff to do and its a gym day but I am just not motivated. If I don’t get up soon then I will miss daylight again. Mister is bored so I will have to get up before he wrecks the place. He is in that kind of mood today. If I get him to chase something around for an hour it normally uses all his excess energy which he uses to wreck the place. He will then fall asleep for hours on one of his favourite spots. I wish that I had his energy today. I just feel drained and every part of my body aches. I mentally am just thinking screw everything to sleep. I can’t do that but if I could sleep for days at a time then I would. It is so much better than reality. Every day life is just a source of burn out and stress. I hate every single minute of being awake. I don’t like my life on general. There would be more stress trying to change it than putting up with the status quo of who I am and how things have been for all my adult years. I don’t want to try to meet people, make friends etc because every person out there has the potential to hurt me and could make my existence worse. I just can’t be bothered with all that baggage. I would rather have a none eventful life which verges on boring than a load of drama. Those of us who are different are a magnet for others to scapegoat whenever there is potential trouble about to hit the fan. I don’t want all that ever again.