I haven’t seen daylight for the third day running because I was just too tired after another night of no sleep. I do have try to reset my pattern, humans are supposed to see daylight or they start suffering from vitamin problems. Weight loss becomes a hassle if you don’t sleep during night hours too. I am still trying to do 10,000 steps when I can but only locally, 2 laps of the local area makes up the steps. Once the rain comes in that won’t be that easy. I do have a coat but I already have a cold so getting wet in the colder weather will probably do me no good.
It has come to my attention that a lot of guys fancy mr… again, you are all going to be disappointed when I say I do not swing that way. There won’t be any future between me and others that I have liked due to circumstances ( 1. because I’m too shy to approach them in offline life. 2. These people will never like me for who I am due to first impressions), but also I cannot live a lie. I would rather be single than practically fake a whole relationship just to give another what they want. I realise that I can probably never have a proper relationship with my BPD side anyway. I’m saving myself the pain of rejection by not going there in the first place. I’m saving everyone else the hassle of either being my friend or in a relationship with me. It is for the best, if you never go for something it can never go wrong, fall apart and cause further mental scars.
I have just reached 1000 followers on TikTok so now I am able to go live!